To every pregnant woman that I have ever made a comment about your body, I am sorry. I had no idea what an asshole I probably sounded like. I’m sure the comments were meant to be complementary. I was probably thinking of how cute and adorable you look, but I would still never have made those comments if you were not pregnant. It’s not a topic most women are comfortable with, and shouldn’t become fair game just because you’ve been turned into a human incubator.
And why might you ask am I now apologizing for a comment I don’t even remember making? Well you see, Karma is a wicked bitch, and she knows how to put you in your place.
How else can you explain being 4 months pregnant, getting looked you up and down with a barely audible “tisk” and wide condescending eyes that settle on your growing stomach and hearing something to the effect of “ oh wow, look at you. How is your eating going?”
And because I didn’t want anymore karmic retribution, I refrained from punching them in the face. I’m expecting some karmic bonus points for that one. Do you hear me Karma? Bonus Points. Preferably in the form of a gifted massage or two, I think that is an excellent trade for good behavior.