Monday, January 5, 2009

An Open Letter

To every pregnant woman that I have ever made a comment about your body, I am sorry. I had no idea what an asshole I probably sounded like. I’m sure the comments were meant to be complementary. I was probably thinking of how cute and adorable you look, but I would still never have made those comments if you were not pregnant. It’s not a topic most women are comfortable with, and shouldn’t become fair game just because you’ve been turned into a human incubator.

And why might you ask am I now apologizing for a comment I don’t even remember making? Well you see, Karma is a wicked bitch, and she knows how to put you in your place.

How else can you explain being 4 months pregnant, getting looked you up and down with a barely audible “tisk” and wide condescending eyes that settle on your growing stomach and hearing something to the effect of “ oh wow, look at you. How is your eating going?”

And because I didn’t want anymore karmic retribution, I refrained from punching them in the face. I’m expecting some karmic bonus points for that one. Do you hear me Karma? Bonus Points. Preferably in the form of a gifted massage or two, I think that is an excellent trade for good behavior.

Deal? Deal.


Mama Niccicoco said...

funny! oh yes it is insane what that fetus does to our bodies. It is hard when you are in that in between stage too, not to mention after the baby. I was at one of those stupid taste of home parties and this woman gave me this crazy smile and look, and said, So when are you due? HA! My baby is 2 years old, I laughed in her face. I blame it on the SMOCK TOP I was wearing and my poor posture. but the belly is something that I have learned to accept. Since I don't feel like killing my self with exercise and dieting right now, I just suck it in, and stay away from the smock tops! (: xoxo

Melly Testa said...

Very Funny!